I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
