I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
