D3 body, D1 cock
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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