I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
