she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
