yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I pour the whiskey from now on
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
