And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
