That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
