that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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