I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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