who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
