is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
