Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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