I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
