my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
