Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Did I show you my penis last night?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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