careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
