we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
