i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
