I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
