so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
