I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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