The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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