if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
