Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
