He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
The Olympian is in my bed
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
