I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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