I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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