i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
