Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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