I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
