I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
