It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
