I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Swine flu is the new snow day.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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