hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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