so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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