I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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