She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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