you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
