Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
