I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
