Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i wish my penis had a tongue
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
