No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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