What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
