so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
