yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
