You really coming over, don't trick.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
