hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
