What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
