I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
