He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
