Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize