suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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