I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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